My BPD has finally plateaued.
I haven’t been feeling an overwhelming of highs and lows the past few weeks. I still have issues with the lows, however they are not as low as I am used to dealing with. I suppose having a ton of distractions and mental stimulation helps heaps. I do not know how long this medium will last for but I am going to enjoy it while I can.
I have been chatting a lot with this really intriguing and equally as crazy girl as of late. She has been a riot to troll IG and kind of be a stupid, immature kid with when I am not adulting. Between her and my sister, my neediness for attention has been getting filled. My extremely high libidious nature has also hit a plateau. I do not find myself masturbating ten times a day, and there are even some days I simply do not masturbate at all.
The funny thing is I am not even on any antidepressants. As I have previously mentioned before, I do not wish to have to rely on pharmaceuticals for the rest of my life. Between a Zombie apocalypse waiting to happen and my wild child nature I do not want to have to deal with the withdraws when my medication isn’t readily available.
Sacrifice now for the greater good.
Believe it or not the holistic approach really works. I mean, it’s a given I have my moments whereby plates will fly as I rage into a temper tantrum because something I felt as if I was entitled to didn’t go my way. I would lash out and rebel. I will have screamed “FUCK YOU!” to the world. I most likely would have slammed my doors not before screaming back at my parents for not ever “understanding my feeeeeeeeeeeeelings!!!!!!”
Besides those little spurts of psychoing, I’d like to believe I am doing quite well. Especially being an individual who not only has DX Asperger’s but as well a working diagnosis for borderline psycho. Yeah…. I do well. : )
I was once told, “There is nothing sexier than a bat shit insane woman who owns her crazy.”
Lol I wish this was true. The only truth is I do own my crazy, and unabashedly. I no longer have anyone to impress on the daily. I do not even shave my vag for weeks on end anymore. I have furbabies growing under my arms and bear backs growing across my legs. I write what I feel no matter the audience. I frolic around markets like a straight retard not caring who sees me. I own cats like “that crazy bitch”. I break out in song and dance during lectures like no one’s business. I own every bit of my actions and every bit of myself.
This is sexy to me. This is me. All of me.