Slut Shaming

I have dealt with my fair share of “Slut Shaming” growing up but not so much in recent years until I met one of my close guy friend’s estranged wife.

I am the first to admit I lost my virginity at a freakishly young age; in between the door frame connecting the bedroom and closet. What a fucking worthy memory…… At twelve years old, I hadn’t hit puberty let alone know the basis of what pertains to sex yet I had it so young…..because everyone was doing it so why shouldn’t I?

Anyhow, from there on, my sexual encounters and partners only grew in numbers. I was never shy about who I have slept with or how many partners I have had. I stopped counting long ago due to the “shame” factor instilled deep within from having a Roman Catholic background. Matter fact, and I digress, once upon a time, long ago I used to attend Catholic Saturday school and because if my infamous said slutty behavior, I actually almost got into a fist fight. The culprits ended up getting the shitty end of that stick but this is a story for another time.

Back to my point, I have almost always been nonchalantly promiscuous. This is just who I am. I love sex and I have no shame for it. I write sex, live sex, breathe sex. Again, who I am. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what I do and whom I choose to do debaucherous things to. I practice safe sex and other than one gnarly case of chlamydia a few years after I initially lost my virginity, I have since been ultra STD free.

I have been smart about not getting pregnant, and if I would have a mishap, let’s just say I am pro-choice. The point is I am smart about it. Smart and unselfish.

Until recently, I came across one of my close friend’s estrange wife. He was living in another state working while she wanted to come back to Houston to be closer to her family for the meantime. I only heard good things about her therefore when I had met her finally this past summer I was my sweet, kind self. The self I am almost always am around my family and friends. After all, she was nearly family since she was a wife and had a beautiful baby girl with my friend.

Well, I ran into her with her brother-in-law and my guy group of friends at a rodeo cook-off. I was a bit intoxicated then and decided to give her a quick hug and conveyed it was great finally meeting her. I thought everything went pretty smooth, this was until I heard first hand from my said friend she hated me.

From there everything came out. 

He explained to me they were going through a divorce and she spoke to him about our first meeting with utter disgust. She expressed my overt “niceness” and felt I was over the top; fake. Naturally I was shocked to hear this because I had befriended her on Facebook. I’ve commented on how beautiful and sweet I thought she was on her photos, for years now. Then he apologized for having to delete me because she wouldn’t allow him to be my friend anymore as the result of my provocative nature. Again, I didn’t even realize we weren’t Facebook friends until he said something but even then I tried to understand where she is coming from. Not very many people can stomach or accept who I am, and if deleting me meant my friend having a happy life, happy wife, this is all I’ve ever wanted for him.

After he told me these things I brushed them off and excused her young age as reason. It wasn’t until today did it really bother me, did she bother me.

I was looking at my friend’s FB page to see how Virginia life has been treating him, as I am about to journey for 10 whole days to Virginia to visit him in four days. To cheer him up. Anyway, I happened to click on a photo of his adorable daughter and his estranged wife was tagged on this photo. Well, then I decided to click on her page to see how she is and noticed she was dating someone new. I remember my friend mentioning to me she was pregnant again and moving in with her new boyfriend but I never thought anything of it until I realized she had an older son, her daughter (with my friend) and is now pregnant with another man.

Mind you folks, people can do whatever the fuck they choose with their lives however, in this case this “estrange wife” is only twenty-three years young with a child who she had at seventeen, another at twenty-one, and other at twenty-three with three different fathers yet has the audacity to misjudge my moral character? I think not.

This folks, this is sad. 

In an age where women’s rights and equality are progressing we find the most discrimination among  women. We are suppose to stick together yet we find ourselves constantly competing with each other or at each other’s necks!

This is pathetic.

I do not wish to compete against anyone. I am confident in myself. I do not try to compare myself with others nor do I wish for the things anyone has in their life. I want all women to be the best human possible. I just want every one to be happy, wholesome humans. I do not get jealous nor do I care enough about any other person in particular to ever wish harm upon them.

This special case, it is not about me calling you out or bringing shame to your life for your obvious bad decisions. I just want to state my point therefore I will do it the best way I know how. An open letter. 🙂

Dear Fellow Woman, 

Foremost, I despise the word “Hoe” rolling off the tongue of any woman who bores three different children from three different fathers. You have lost all rights to ever even call an escort a whore the moment you made the decision to bring forth great burden to your own children’s lives by living for your selfish reasons. I get it, relationships do not always work out but this is why there are precautions measures you must take. Something called “contraception”.

This is pronounced /käntrəˈsepSH(ə)n/.

I know any method of birth control is difficult to turn to given your cultural/religious beliefs however your ignorance does not give excuse to the turmoil you have if not already caused your children (and future child), you will cause.

It is abundantly clear you love sex as much as the next woman. Consequently, Slut shaming me then asking my adolescent hood friend of twelve years to block me from Facebook for choosing to behave in the same provocations as you have is not only hypocritical, however shows how low you feel about thine self.

Look into your own actions before misjudging others. This is a lesson you must bestow upon your children. We need our next generation to change what is obvious lacking in this one. You could either choose to be the majority of shitty humans or make a difference in the world by teaching your children to become amazing humans. The rest is up to them but this is your will and right as a parent.

As being a young parent of a daughter, is this the path you choose for your daughter to one day have? Do you wish for her to always rely upon a man to support her or would you rather her seek independence within herself? Do you wish her to be envious of others and talk down on her sisters? Breed hate within herself or be a confident young woman? I am sure every parent aspire for the future they could not obtain for themselves. This is the epitome of good parenting. To teach right from wrong, good from evil, love from hate. As a Christian, isn’t this your moral obligation? 

I am not here to judge your lifestyle or the choices you have chosen to make at twenty-three years young. I am merely putting emphasis on your unfavorable, distasteful behavior as a parent and woman of this day and age. Even if I lead a lascivious lifestyle, I lead one unselfishly. I have no children to drag around from household to household. I have no children to uproot from a temporary comfortable life, to another state to start over with another family. I have made my choice to live as I have gracefully. I thought about the consequences of my actions before having to drag innocent lives down with me. 

This is exactly what you are doing. Damaging innocent lives. You have subconsciously and selfishly taken two of your three children’s lives down with you. You have complicated matters. You have forced a boy from his father, another baby girl from hers and now who know how long this next will last. Trust me when I say history always repeats itself unless you are willing to change it, and at the rate you are going I do not foresee greatness in your future. 

I say to you emphatically, “Sweet thing, stop. Stop judging and worrying about what others are doing or how they affect your life when you are the one who is ruining your own existence. Stop your hatred, judgmental remarks, and most especially having children. Please just stop having children. You want to be relevant? Be a good human onto others. Give back to orphan children. Give your children the best life possible by putting them before yourself. Do any of these things and you’ll make a difference. Make a difference. Stop being ignorant. Love thy sisters. Be a badass human.” 

All My Best,

Jayde

 

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13 thoughts on “Slut Shaming

  1. Your strength and your confidence have always inspired and motivated me to be a better version of myself. It is sad that there are other people who think so badly of others when they can’t look at themselves in the mirror first and recognize their own flaws. That estranged wife of your friend was only insecure of you because she couldn’t do what you can, and now all the good things about her aren’t really good after all. Who really is the fake now? I hope you never see her when you fly to Virginia!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Women can be our best allies and worst enemies and the latter should not be so. The hate is usually rooted in envy and lack of self-love and most of what they say is their own projections of themselves. It takes a confident woman, like yourself, to know that and just brush off her shoulders;) You go!

    Like

  3. @jayde you know my thoughts on that…

    Fucking murikan women in general tend to be extreme bitches too each other.
    Just watch two feminazis argue lmao. But seriously, fuck em.

    This murikan social life is not realistically possible or necessary…

    My wife and I were and have been poly since way before it was “the new cool hipster thing to do”.

    She has been labeled slut, and me a cheating asshole.

    Fuck people, most of em are zombies anyhow. They will do whatever the blinking screen tells them too.

    Liked by 1 person

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