Rinse + Repeat

Your heart is crying; but isn’t it always?


Have you ever, for a moment or for life, had a friend whom no matter when or where in their life, was always in love?

I’m no innocent bystander. I am unabashedly admitting I am a serial lover, and relationship murderer. I’ve almost always followed my heart when it came to moments of heated passions and silly foolish falling in love, bittersweet love.

This is nothing new.

Only recently have I come across the worst case of “love-sick puppy” in my life. I know somebody…. This person is almost always in love after love. This person could be passionately in love with someone they’ve never met, yet also still be in love with another– and unmistakably another.

I never understood how a person could love more than one human in a romantic way. This is until I met person (X).

X falls in love with every Y X comes across to the point of obsession nearly. This scares the potential partner Y far, far away. This also makes X feel as if X is being rejected and abandoned causing an avalanche of self sabotaging, patterned behaviors to occur. (I. E. emotionally blackmail, guilt trips, stalking, melt downs, public castrations, depression, etc)

As far as X goes, I pitied X tremendously. Until recently I have come to realize this is X’s pattern for a reason.

X wants this. X wants nothing more than a tragic type of love and relationship. X is immature and cannot look past the fact X has brought only X to this senseless conclusion time and time again.

X will never learn. X will blame, shame and cry until X gets X’s way. There is no conclusion as to an end with X.

So ex the X.

I know I did, and although it took me a few weeks to open my eyes after getting blindsided. Dropping X as a friend after X ghosted me for not getting something X’s way was the best decision I have ever made.

Sucks there are almost always games when you lose a friend. Should I talk about them? Should I pretend I am not affected by them? I shouldn’t rant about them so they could clearly see the hurt and ultimately give them the upper hand?

Blah, blah, fucking blah.

I’m tired of playing the games. The games means I still care and I honestly don’t. I am indifferent. I could finally talk about this without giving a shit how I hurt you feeling or care if this ever even gets to you.

I do however, have a few last words before I move forward with my life

Thus here’s an Open Letter to you, X:

You made me feel like a shitty friend for the past couple of months, for what?

You are the one who cannot keep friendships, cannot mend relationships, and more importantly cannot hold a man’s attention long enough before he hits the ground running.

You stand with your head held so high without the realization you are, remarkably, the entire problem.

I have my shit together and for the longest time wanted nothing more than to help you get yours. Only evermore, you’re a lost cause. So good luck to you and your never ending barrage of hopeless– no seriously and literally hopeless, brief Prince Flee-a-lots.

You’re Welcome,

Jayde 🦄


Now, time to get back to binge watching the Sopranos with Matt. Time for a nice, loving cuddles!




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